Due to the demands of a trans-continental move, the renovating of a house, and the rearing of an 8 month old baby, the saga of Gerald Thurlington will be suspended for a few months. If you have been following along, thank you so much and please know that in the fall things will start rolling again. If you would like to be notified by email when this happens, please email me at: geraldthurlington@yahoo.com
Have a great summer.
The morning after the staff meeting, an email marked urgent summoned me to the office of Mr. Gardiner. Intrigued, I went directly down. His secretary was not there yet, and the door to his inner sanctum was open. I knocked lightly. Mr. Gardiner’s head snapped up from his desk.
“Ah. Jeremy!! Please come in.”
“Gerry, sir.”
“Of course! I’m sorry. Gerry. Yes. Gerry. Please come in.” Mr. Gardiner poked his head into the hallway and closed the door to the reception room. He then closed the door to the inner sanctum. His manner, jumpy and nervous, was in stark contrast to what it had been the last time I had visited his hallowed halls. His appearance was decidedly different as well. A light bluing of stubble colored his jaw. The knot of his tie was askew and his pants needed pressing. Clearly, all was not well.
“Gerry. I’m going to give it to you straight. Can you take it straight Gerry?”
“Yes sir.”
“They’ve got me on the ropes Gerry and I need your help.”
“My help, sir?”
“Yes. I need all the help I can get and let me tell you, I’m a man who remembers his friends. When this blows over Jeff, I’m going to know who was with me and who was against me and we’ll see what tune the fat lady sings then. Won’t we?”
“I’d be happy to help you sir, but I’m not exactly sure what I can do.”
“I need a man in the field Jeff, a man on the ground. I’ll be frank. Can I be frank, Jeff?”
“Gerry, sir.”
“I’m sorry. Yes. Gerry. Can I be frank Gerry?”
“Please do sir.”
“I need Elaine out of the picture.” With that, he let out a big breath, leaned back in his chair and observed me closely.
“Do you mean literally, or in a more figurative sense sir?”
“She’s after my job Gerry. I came in here and took the job that she thought of as being rightfully hers. She’s pulling a coup Gerry. She’s got all the parents on her side and she’s doing her damndest to smear my good name. I need her out of the picture.”
“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not sure what you would like me to do.”
“I want you to find all the dirt you can on her. I want you to rake her over the coals. Gerry, I want you to humiliate her and make her suffer.” Gardiner’s face was red with malice Look, you know that we are accredited by the Association of American Schools. It’s one of the big reasons why parents send their kids here, in order for them to receive the equivalent of American High School diplomas when they leave.”
I nodded.
“Can I trust you Gerry?”
“Yes sir, I’ve already said that…”
“No, can I really trust you? I mean are you with me or against me on this?”
“I’m with you sir.”
“Well, the A.A.S representative is coming in two weeks to audit the school.”
“Really?” I was beginning to have an inkling of what Dr. Gardiner was after.
“The best part Gerry?”
“Yes sir?”
Eyes glowing, he dropped his voice to a whisper and leaned over the desk.
“She doesn’t know. I just found out yesterday, before the coup. She doesn’t know!” He looked around fearfully, then back at me with a wolf-like grin.
“I think I’m starting to follow you sir.”
“Gerry, your job is two-fold. Firstly, find dirt. Dig dirt. Make dirt. Smear dirt. Secondly, throw as many monkey wrenches around as you possibly can. When that inspector comes, I want this place to be in a worse shambles than it already is. I’m going to be back, Gerry. I’m down, but I’m not out. If you stick by me I can assure you I will remember it when I ‘m back behind the wheel. Will you help me?”
“Sir, I’m ninety percent there. Can I mull it over for a bit and get back to you?” This was major stuff.
“You’ve got till the end of the day. But silence Gerry. For god’s sake silence.”
“Yes sir. You can count on me.”
The staff room was vibrating with hushed rumor and furtive buzz. Elaine had certainly managed to stir the pot. There were a wide variety of new signs (Elaine was always big on the blatant use of the printed word) that festooned the walls. “MAKE SURE YOUR PLANS ARE UP TO DATE.” “SUPERVISION DUTY STARTS AT THE BELL, NOT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT.” “THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.” “THE LORD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.” Etc.. The polarization of the staff had begun. Two camps sat huddled at two different tables, whispering and exchanging pointed glances. At one table sat Mavis, Jamie, Amy, and Juan Ricardo. At another sat Gregorio, Alex, Craig, Steven, and Jade.
I have always felt a strange sense of calm elation when things go awry and chaos rears its head. This was exactly such a time. Feeling buzzed on the general discord, I pulled up a chair and sat down beside Jade at the second table.
“So how’s it going guys?” My arrival was greeted with varying degrees of surprise and distaste. Various grunts answered my question and then an awkward silence fell over the table. The Poet was the first to break the silence.
“So Gerald, have you visited any good prostitutes lately?”
“Why Craig, are you having a hard time finding female company?”
“No, but you are.”
“No, you are.”
“No, you are.”
“What?”
“What?”
“Gerald, you’re a loser. Go soak your head.”
”Gerald, you’re a loser. Go soak your head.”
“You see?”
“You see?”
Craig was turning a signature shade of red, but to his credit he did not get completely flustered by my childish idiocy. He simply got up and left. The rest of the table quickly followed suit, and I was left sitting with Alex, who for once had nothing to say. After an awkward moment in which his tongue failed him, Alex left with a whimper.
“Better go check the music inventory.”
“Good idea Alex. Don’t let it get away on you. God speed Alex.”
“Ha.” One table cleared, I approached the other.
“Dude, what was that all about?” Jade was intently examining the tips of her dreadlocks.
“Just trying to be friendly.”
“Gerry, you’re an ass.” Amy stood up.
“You’re not going to take off on me too are you?” Wordlessly she packed up the rest of her lunch and pushed past me. I sat down in her recently occupied chair.
“So have you heard the latest?” Juan Ricardo was looking at me with a strange expression.
“No. What.”
“The unofficial rumor is that you are going to be suspended…”
“Glory Be!!”
“…with no pay…”
“I’ve got a few pesos put away.”
“…and fined 500.000 pesos for failure to comply with contractual obligations.”
“What? Only me?”
“Yep.”
“Nobody else?”
“No.”
“Why me?”
“The age old question Gerry.” Jamie spoke through a mouth full of mashed potato.
“Don’t be an idiot. You know full well why.” Mavis spoke through a cynical smile, her fierce blue eyes dazzling inside the black areola of mascara.
“It’s only a rumor”, Juan David offered diplomatically.
“One rumor of many. If I were you though, I’d take it seriously. Your attitude precedes you. Didn’t anyone ever tell you to kiss the boss’ ass? Rule number one.” Jamie belched.
“Well, rumors may be flying, but I’ve heard a few things myself.” I was trying to suppress it, but it came out. I always sucked at cards or any kind of secret. Luckily, no one was really paying attention as at that moment, Elaine came in. Her new sense of empowerment called for a new look and Elaine’s hair was dyed a sort of mottled blond/red/marmalade. She was also wearing what appeared to be a brand new muumuu.
“Elaine, I like what you’ve done with your hair. It’s very… now.”
The mole eyes glared at me. “Don’t patronize me Thurlington. My office. Now.” With a shrug, I followed her retreating bulk, the polyester of her muumuu making a soft swishing sound as she waddled.
